The Pursuit

I remember reaching an age

where I was too good

for ‘I love you’s’

I believe it was sixteen

and a half

The half was crucial back then

as were other wasteful things

 

The world is full of jokers

It baffles me

Talented actors masking emotions

freely feeding lies, only listening to speak

In a society that constantly tells you what to feel, when

Fight for lucidity, compassionately

Embrace peculiarity, vulnerability

 

I know I am in a different place now

The direction my life is taking

The honesty that undermines the fear

Biting your tongue is petty

And why do I hesitate still?

Mind buffering

Filtering through the free-for-all for some truth

 

The changing of the tides

I strive to utter words that define all I feel

Beyond indebted to daily conversations

that never last long enough

I delicately change the tone in my voice

to better clarify the weight these words carry

How tight these relationships have a hold

 

I really hope the message doesn’t get misconstrued

So that when I tell you I love you

It is clear that I am saying

 

I miss you

 

I wish I were home

 

You mean the world to me

 

What I would give to be with you right now…

 

– Breelyn Shelkey